Little Steven’s Underground Garage
Show 872 — Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Air date: Wednesday, Dec. 19, 2018
OK. Who wants to commit suicide? Raise your hand. One, two… quite a few this year. All right, let’s try to figure this out, shall we?
Three reasons, I’m thinking. Number one, society says you should be thankful and happy this time of year and you’re not either one. Number two, you are lonely. This is a time when people celebrate family and friends and you either don’t like a lot of your family or you don’t have much of a family and you really don’t have that many close friends either. And number three, and this is good any time of the year, you’re broke. Busted. Tapped out. Bills are piling up, and now you’re supposed to buy people presents? That pretty much covers it, right?
Well, guess what. Everybody’s depressed! Everybody with a brain, anyway. That is reality for most people. Some people are better actors, and some people can live in denial more successfully than others, but the reality is life sucks. It’s a horror.
Yes, there are a few people who have wonderful families and friends, and money. A very few. Everybody else going around looking and acting happy is a moron. They’re idiots. Don’t they read the papers?
Terrorism. A worldwide depression. Global warming is quite obvious now, isn’t it? Need something closer? Go out your door, make a right. How far do you get before tripping over a homeless person? Life sucks. Trust me. Most people’s families are dysfunctional, most people’s friends are backstabbing hypocrites, and our economy is permanently screwed. It will be bad for the rest of everybody’s lifetime because of the debt. Not just the deficit. The debt.
So it ain’t just you. So what do you want to do? Sit around and whine about it? Commit suicide? Check out and let the bad guys win? Because they want intelligent, sensitive troublemakers like you padded away.
No. We are not going to whine and complain. We are not going to very cowardly check out. We are going to acknowledge that the world is a horror show and in the context of that reality, and in spite of that reality, we are going to find some things to celebrate.
Like what? Like The Beatles! Like The Rolling Stones! Like Little Richard! Like The Ramones! Like John Stewart! Like The Simpsons! Like Bill Maher! Like The E Street Band! Like dogs and elephants. And sex and love. And the one family member you maybe do like. Or like the one friend you maybe do trust. Or the little kid down the street who smiles at you when you’re in a bad mood. Like truth! Like books! Like movies, flowers, go-go girls! Like the Underground Garage.
And, uh… and Christmas! Christmas is cool. That‘s why everybody celebrates it, regardless of their religions. It doesn’t matter if Jesus was really the son of God or not. Like all religious writings, it is symbolic.
Christmas symbolizes rebirth, renewal, a second chance, an opportunity to start over. We’re not on this planet very long to begin with, so while we’re here, let’s try and have a little fun.