Happy Birthday to Me

I turn 46-years-old tomorrow.

I’ve always felt that each age I reach has been perfect for me at that time. Indeed, today I feel that one’s mid-40s are the best of times. If you had asked me in 2010, I would have said that one’s mid-30s were the best of times. Similarly, if you had asked me in 2000, I would have said that one’s mid-20s were the best; and of that, as a 25-year-old with a mere twentysomething mind, I was probably certainly sure. Probably in 1990, too, I felt that being in one’s mid-teens was the best of all possible ages, in this, the best of all possible worlds. As each decade cog clicks forward, I have always felt quite at ease with the Universe and with my place in it.

I can always remember my birth year and month because Saigon fell to the North in April 1975. I can always remember by 10th birthday because Enver Hoxha died that year. On my 20th birthday, we saw the Oklahoma City bombing. I remember thinking, “I hope it’s not an Arab terrorist,” for that would have started a war. Luckily, we were able to breathe a sigh of relief: it was only a home-grown terrorist, so no WWIII would begin. (White terrorism was not an issue in the 1990s, as it would become in the 2020s.) (Interestingly, when the U.S. eventually was attacked by an Arab terrorist on its home soil, it did indeed start a war.)

My 30th birthday can be marked by Pope John Paul II dying. He used to be the best pope ever; of course, that’s only until Frankie came along in 2013. (Interestingly enough, J.P. actually visited Vancouver in 1984. I remember watching the yellow & white Pope Mobile, with thick glass window panes, drive across the broad-laned Burrard Street Bridge.)

My 40th birthday was in 2015, and from there, then, we now arrive at my 46th birthday, tomorrow. I can lift more weight today than ever before. I can run farther and faster today, and for longer, than ever before. I am more well-read today than ever before. I speak more foreign languages, at a higher level, than ever before. I have more savings in my bank account than ever before. My monthly pay cheque today is higher than ever before. My wife is more wonderful every day, as wonderful as she always is. Our child is the most perfect of small human squirrel monkeys, as wonderful as can be. In short, life is good. #42

Key takeaways? Marry well. Marry well, and learn to forgive yourself. But in reverse order. You have to learn to forgive yourself first. That happens in your 20s and 30s. Then you have to marry well, once you’ve matured.

I’ve so far only been in existence for 46 Earth perambulations around the Sun, and my advice is to marry well, and to learn to forgive yourself. After another 46 years, say, in 2067 when I turn 92-years-old, I might have more to say about Life at that time.

I leave you now with a poem, a brief ditty by one of America’s greatest laureates. In the words of the inestimable auteur himself, always remember: “If you think it’s scary, if it’s more than you can take, just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake.”

Happy birthday to all, and to all a good night~

———-

“Happy Birthday”
by Weird Al Yankovic

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We’ll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there’s something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy’s in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama’s in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There’s garbage in the water
There’s poison in the sky
I guess it won’t be long before we’re all gonna die

Well, what’s the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, we’ll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the Pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger’s on the button, all they need is an excuse

It doesn’t take a military genius to see
We’ll all be crispy critters after World War III
There’s nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried

Well there’s a punk in the alley and he’s looking for a fight
There’s an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There’s a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there’s misery and greed

I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the Sun
But that’s no reason why we shouldn’t have a little fun
So if you think it’s scary, if it’s more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

And a pinch to grow an inch!



Categories: Uncategorized

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