VIETNAM, baby!

You thought defeating Tsarist Russia in 1904-1905 was something? Piffle! The Russians aren’t white, and they certainly aren’t Western. Japan did a nothing. They can’t even retain their gains. Go home, Japan.

Now, let’s go look at a real country: VIETNAM, baby!

First, they defeat France in the First Indochina War (1946-1954). Incidentally, Võ Nguyên Giáp! Isn’t he brilliant? And good looking, too. Second, paratroopers can’t be used in modern warfare: they don’t carry enough firepower to hold the fort, are too weak upon landing, and are too far away to be supported with supplies. Boom! You plan to reinforce with paratroopers? Ha ha ha ha! I’ll pull my artillery up to the hilltop, thankyouverymuch. France was a major European power for centuries. It was defeated fair & square by Vietnam.

Then, Vietnam defeats the U.S. in the Second Indochina War (1955-1975). This was the U.S. at the height of its Cold War powers, with all the might of McNamara himself. I mean, what? Vietnam defeated the most powerful country on Earth in the mid-1970s. The U.S. was a major global power, and it was defeated fair & square by Vietnam.

Third, Vietnam was trying to dislodge one of the most murderous regimes ever in the history of the planet, in Cambodia, and so Mainland China invades Vietnam. What? Oh, I see. Those murdering Khmer Rouge were Beijing’s friends, and Mao sure likes him some murderers. So Beijing invades Vietnam in 1979. “Fuck you!” Vietnam says, and successfully defends its northern border. Mainland China seized a few small villages, pretended it was a “victory”, and then withdrew. Vietnam was still engaged in Cambodia during those few short three weeks.

Fourth, and thankfully for humanity, Vietnam got rid of the Khmer Rouge. The Khmer Rouge had been invading Vietnam in the south, massacring civilians, in some ethnic Kampuchean rage against Vietnamese overlords, or something. So on Christmas Day 1978, Vietnam invaded Cambodia to oust the murderers and to get them to stop killing everyone. The skulls they found — literally, piles of skulls — are terrifying. Schoolyards were used as execution sites. The Vietnamese had seen war against the French, war against the U.S., war against Mainland China, guerilla warfare, bunji stick pits, torture, interrogation, tunnels, napalm, carpet bombing, fortified villages, Agent Orange, fourth generation warfare, urban bombing campaigns, and all the rest of it… but the murders in Cambodia were the worst.

So… name me a single country that has defeated a European power, defeated a global power, defeated a regional bully, and defeated one of the most murderous regimes on the planet?

VIETNAM, baby~

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